Work+etc.

So I thought to myself, in planning for my Florida move, why worry? I have some money saved up and God is good. So I moved down here and leisurely searched for a job for about a month.

At this point I freaked out, because I kinda ran out of money. I had only had 2 interviews. For the one job I really wanted, a job working to help kids and families in Florida’s welfare system, the interview had seemed to go well, but there were some problems because they wanted to hire someone real quick before training started and for some reason I was having serious references issues- people weren’t answering their phone, sending back their faxes, people weren’t at their jobs, etc. Not having regular access to the internet did not help with this either.

Anyway, to make a long story short, the office called me at 3:00 and said- training starts tomorrow, we need one more reference for you by 4:30 or we can’t hire you. I frantically called my references and around 4:00 I paused and in a moment of faith, I said ‘OK, God, I’m done. It’s in your hands.’ So… I stopped calling people and chilled and was very faithful until around 5:30 when they had not called me back and I freaked out for like 20 hours. I mean, I was a mess. I cried, I might even have moaned, I tried to apply to more jobs, but could like hardly keep myself together; it was awful. I probably prayed some, but it was mostly like ‘God, what do I doooooo? Why won’t you taaaalk to meeee?’ Some faith I have!

Finally, the next day around 3:00, I got a call from the human resources director being like ‘So we just got your reference letter and we can start you in training a day late.’ And I like danced around and was all like, God is good and I am bad but now I have the job I wanted– and it was like a huge raise from my last job, etc. etc. I couldn’t help but feel like it was a test (that I failed miserably) though I must seem like a goofy Christian because I don’t have any biblical justification for that off the top of my head. Any offers?

Anyway, I like my job- I help kids get adopted and ‘take care of them’ within the welfare system. I don’t ‘take people’s kids away’ as a 12-year-old eloquently suggested to me the other day, though some people I work with do. It’s a job you need some good faith in, because in case you haven’t noticed, it’s a screwed up world.  

I’m adding some links I like to my link bar. Stay tuned. Also, I read good blogs are written daily, so I’ll do what I can. Weekends I don’t much have internet access.

When the road is dark

So… sorry for the gap. I moved to Florida. It is cool though I miss my friends from back home and my family; still I have new friends here and am still kinda settling after 3 or so months (agh! it feels like yesterday.) Still, I’ve been having a hard time in my faith (which I haven’t even talked about much here…) experiencing new circumstances, churches, and ways of viewing life and God. I’ve been struggling a lot with what exactly it is I believe, how best to pursue God and live a Godly life, that kind of thing.

I like listening to John Hiatt’s song, Have a Little Faith in Me, because it is reassuring to me. I know it’s not ‘Christian Music’ but I think God can speak through other avenues. It goes:

When the road is dark, and you can no longer see

Let my love throw a spark, and have a little faith in me

When the tears you cry- are all you can believe

Come here, baby, from a whisper start- to have a little faith in me.

Anyway, I write this because- faith is hard. A life of faith is hard. Obvi? It’s looking at everything that’s in front of your face- the pain of life, the confusion, the people who find their purpose in life in other places than you, your own inadequacies, your own feelings at any given point in time, everything that’s right there— and saying, ’still, there’s a part of me that knows there’s more than this.’ I stress about this a lot of the time- especially my own inadequacies and lack of faith- and my timidity in talking about Jesus to people who don’t already believe in Him.

Still, I’ve been encouraged a lot this weekend- was encouraged today as I read a part of the ‘Treasures in Jars of clay’ verse in 2corinithians4:7-10 that I missed before: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hardpressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed , but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We alwaus carry around in our body the death of Jesus so hat the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” Cool. So- yeah. That’s basically what I just said (I guess I was copying the bible.) We have one reason not to freak out about all the stuff we have to deal with in this life, and that’s because we know Jesus died for us- we have that by faith.

And although I may be ‘me of little faith,’ I know I’ve got a little bit in me, and from there- the magic can happen. (Sorry, I’m tired.) I feel a bit lost in my faith life and normal life, but I know that God loves to give good gifts when we ask- especially one like a greater understanding of his love for me and me overcoming my obstacles.

New Blog, Pre-Florida, Pratts Falls

Not that I’m new to moving and changes of life, but I wanted to start up a blog and keep you updated this time around. I am spending much of my last week before my move to Orlando, FL (a big change from Syracuse) with my sister (see endnote) so far, as my parents are both out of town.

Today we went to Pratts Falls, a local county park, and wandered around forever trying to find the mythical raspberry bushes. We were sidetracked by a group of strange archers and minions of insects trying to make their home in my hair but finally found the berries with the aid of a friendly park ranger.

That’s all for now or I’ll start getting bogged down by my FEELINGS (the danger of a blog) or worse, not be awake enough for my run with Lyndsey tomorrow morning (another tale and endnote on this tomorrow). Until next time–